Diana Banana Pancakes

August 18, 2009

Sometimes I miss blogging…

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 7:33 pm

This blog started off over at blogspot. I had it for about 4 years I believe now? It started as a soundboard for me, a place to vent, to relieve stress, to show off my kiddo, to spill my heart out anonymously… It was great when I first moved to this small town and didn’t know anyone, it was a great place to do all those things. Sometimes I miss it. I had an anonymous freedom in blogging. People could see my face and knew my first name, but they didn’t know where I was, I could blog about anything and everything that ever bothered me and I would get feedback. I loved getting feedback. I’ve made a good friend through the blogosphere, too.

Sometimes I miss that outlet, and I think I need to re-discover it again, hopefully gain a few readers who will give me some input or opinions, or share experiences…kinda like a support group of sorts, haha.

So, here I am, I’m 35 now. I’ll be 36 on Halloween…yikes. In this stage in my life, I had hoped to be in a different place, but life does things and I’d like to think everything happens for a reason, or at least there are signs and paths you are pointed towards, and you chose one and see where it leads…something like that.

I’ve reached my goal of paying off my debt! yes! Then I acquired new debt in the form of a new car, which was much needed, so I think it will both provide me with what I need in a car, and help me rebuild my credit. My next big financial goal is to own a home. It doesn’t have to be big or fancy, but it has to be MINE. I want to own a home, a dream I’ve had for years. I would love it to be before Ian is out of school, haha. So, for now rebuilding my credit and going to start saving for a home. Next goal for sure!

As I mentioned before, I met a guy. He is so great. He treats me the way I’ve always wanted to be treated, he gave me that glimpse of the type of man I’ve wanted in my life. Around him, I feel happy, pretty, relaxed, like ME. I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not. I’ve fallen in love with him…hard. It scares me sometimes, but at the same time, it feels so right I can’t help but to just take this path and pray its where I’m supposed to be. If it is, it will work out in the end, if not, I will just enjoy the way this relationship makes me feel. Its all a secret right now, keeping it on the “down low” yo…long story short, in a few weeks we can slowly let the world know…or at least our small town, haha, that we are a couple.

Hard to believe, but there is already someone trying to ruin it, and its not even his ex-wife. Its someone both of us had trusted with confidential info, confided in, shared stress and personal situations with, and this person is turning around and trying to put a wedge between us, and she doesn’t even know that we are an item yet. Why would someone do that to a person, to PEOPLE, who have come to her in trust and confidence about things? She got to me…in my insecurity and my wish to keep this man for as long as he will let me, she got to me. She got in my head and planted a seed of doubt, of worry…mostly worry for my heart. I love this man, and he says he loves me, he shows me he does, but this woman claims he isn’t over his ex-wife. He says he is, and for the most part I feel he is…maybe its because our relationship is still a secret, it makes me feel insecure about it. Im not sure, I just know that I had a bad dream about it even, and woke up feeling sad. I can’t believe I let her get in my head. gah. Damn insecurities!

I told him all about what she said, and he told me she is just jealous and trying to get a wedge in between us, and he said that I love him, and he loves me, and if we just keep communication open and work together, she can’t get to us. It bothers him more than he trusted this person as a friend and that she didn’t value that friendship like he did…in a way I feel bad for having told him everything because I feel like I did to his friendship what she is trying to do to our relationship, put a huge wedge in there. He assures me he is glad I told him because he doesn’t know what she is saying to who, and he said if she is airing any of his dirty laundry to anyone, then with friends like that who needs enemies. I still feel bad to have put a wedge there, because it makes me feel like I did what she is trying to do to me and him, but he says its not the same, that I did the right thing telling him what she said.

I told my mom about him, this man I’m in love with. I didn’t tell her I’m in love with him, she is worried about me as it is since I’m so extremely guarded with my heart that I don’t usually let someone in, so knowing I’ve fallen in love with someone so fast, she might get more scared, haha. I told my sisters about him, but only one sister knows I’m in love with him. I hate that its a secret relationship right now, but I understand the reasons. My step-mom came by my kiddo’s football practice, and my man said he saw her there and wanted to talk to her, but couldn’t because its a secret. He told me he hates having to hide it…someone we both know, a fellow parent whose kid is also on the little kids football team, was trying to figure out who my guy is dating. He said she thinks its me because she looked in my direction or something when she was trying to figure it out…I don’t know if she thinks its me or not, but he said it was felt good to kinda get it out a little. I hope he still feels that way when we don’t have to keep it a secret anymore. I hate hiding things. Of course, where the kids are concerned (he has 2 kids, and they are friends with my kiddo) it will still be more or less a secret still, until we know for sure we are going to be in this together for the long term, which is totally understandable and I agree with.

Football – My kiddo is LOVING football! He has his first real game with scores and stats on Sunday, he’s so excited, even though he knows being new he might not get much play time, he’s excited still. He’s proud to have his jersey and says “I’m officially a footballer” all the time. I love that little kiddo and so happy to see him so excited about football.

Work is going great, and I’m actually gonna get off this blog to go work a little OT. Start that savings up, ya know. ๐Ÿ™‚

July 8, 2009

where did that come from?

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 7:57 pm

I met someone who amazes me, makes me laugh, makes me feel good and pretty and sexy and just brightens my day to talk to him…and I’ve fallen in love with him….scary….but I can’t help how I feel. The way I feel when I’m around him, the way I feel about him…I’ve never felt that with someone, so quickly, so openly, so easily, and it feels so good laying next to him, looking into his eyes, feeling him next to me, his hand on my skin, on the small of my back, him playing with my hair. I didn’t see it coming, didn’t even think it would happen at all…but it did. He’s even more scared than I am. For now, I hope he just enjoys my attention, my affection, whatever I give him I hope he just takes it for what it is and enjoys every bit of it, and just goes with the flow. I dont tell him how I feel often as far as the L word, I show him, and he picks up on it. He told me as much. That is how it should be, someone should know by actions, not just words. I learned from my ex-husband that those 3 words can be said without any action behind it, doesn’t make it real, so I am glad he can tell just by my actions. I hope he enjoys spending time with me as much as I enjoy him. I’ll show him how I feel for as long as he will let me. One day at a time, that’s what he wants, and how it should be. I can’t believe I’ve fallen in love again, after all these years, so easily it scares me. He makes it easy.

May 15, 2009

Catching up…

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 7:43 pm

Well well well….here I am, back in the blogging world after an absence. I have to say, I truly lost my blogging mojo and I couldn’t figure out why…then it dawned on me lately as things in my life have changed. I lost it because I had someone I could talk to, several someones I could talk to about things going on in my life, and I didn’t need to vent or put it out here for the blog-world to see, not that many people were even reading my blogs anymore anyway.

So, I thought I’d catch up, and share why I’m back in the blogging world again…

First off, I finally left my job, it was getting TOO bad. They had sold to a company from overseas, and slowly and gradually things got worse and worse to where I was making MINIMUM WAGE, and I can’t support my son and I on minimum wage. I was lucky, my ex-sis-in-law (I’m still close with my ex’s family for the most part) had mentioned that they were hiring at the local hospital where she works at, same position I do. So, I went and called, yes they were hiring, tested, and got the job. I started mid December, and quit my job with the other company that I’d been with for 10 years. It was harder than I thought leaving, probably because I’d been there for so long, and I was “comfortable”, in my little box, my “safe place”, but this new job has been a God send, a blessing in many ways. I’m still doing transcription, I still get to work from home, and now I get health insurance. I work midnights, which I don’t like because this job as it is makes it hard to meet people in a new city when I work from home and don’t do the “bar” thing…but with the personal benefits, I really can’t complain too much, and as many people in this economy have been let go by their jobs, its definitely a blessing to have a good job.

I’ve PAID OFF all my debt! It has been years in the works, and I finally paid off the last of my debt! I’m so proud of myself. Granted, I don’t own a house or anything, but now I can reach that goal soon. First on the agenda is a new car, though. I’ve had the same car for 14 years, its been a good car, lived a good life. It has nearly 200,000 miles on it, and over the past 5 years I’ve had to fix SOMETHING on it to the tune of $400+ a year on it, so now I figure its time to look into getting a new one. I’m excited at the prospect, but I’m also scared.

My son’s father is still a deadbeat. He still doesn’t call his son but on the rare occasion. My son, Ian, turned 8 mid April, and his dad actually remembered to call him. Before April, he hadn’t called his son since JANUARY. Yes, you read that right, January…and he hasn’t called SINCE then either. My son has a 1/2 sister through his dad, who he also hasn’t seen since December 2008 because they are an hour away and have no phone, and every time we are in town, they are no where to be found. Its hard for him, he doesn’t understand and he gets frustrated. His sister will be 2 in July, and I hope he will get to see her for her birthday at the very least.

My son, my world…I love this kid with everything I have in me! He makes me smile, he tests my patience and teaches me about myself constantly. He is doing good in school academically. He is in the 90th percentile in reading and math skills. He has a problem with talking too much in school, and I think a lot of that is because when we’re at home, its just him and I, and we are quiet at home, mellow, so when he gets around his friends, he just can’t keep much to himself. ๐Ÿ™‚ He is in soccer and cub scouts, and next weekend is FOOTBALL sign-ups, which he’s excited for.

My new job…midnights. I hate midnights, haha. Its hard to sleep during the day when there’s sunshine begging me to go out and enjoy it and soak it up…its been tough adjusting.

I still dont’ have many friends in this small town. Working from home and working nights while everyone else is being social, its very hard to meet anyone. I have some guy-friends, but that’s hard, too, because when they have girlfriends they don’t talk much so as not to upset the new girl in their life, and I stay away so as not to step on toes and cause drama…so that kills the friends thing/social life thing very quickly.

I’ve been “dating” a guy for the past year…or so I tell myself. Its very complicated and I won’t go into it here, but he “doesn’t know” what he wants or what he is doing, he has admitted as much to me, but he also in the beginning admitted that the distance is hard for him and an issue with him. We live an hour away, we both work midnights, but I have a kid so that limits my free time going out as I have to obviously be a parent first, and our days off are different. I like him a lot, but he has reservations, and from time to time he becomes antisocial to everyone in his life. He’s in his 40s, has never married and no kids. He is, however, a person who I have been able to find myself talking to about things, everything from my ex to my son to my finances to…well, anything…and he’s always been honest, even when I don’t want to hear it. He has become my person I talk to, which probably isn’t good since I’m not sure where we stand together. I just know I look forward to hearing from him, I enjoy his company and his conversation…so I just try to go with the flow and see what happens. If it doesn’t work out, I’m not sure how I’ll try to date again with this shift. When I first met this guy, who we will call Cracker, I worked nights and he worked evenings, and our days off worked out great for each other, but as time went on, shifts changed for both of us, situations changed for me with my son’s father not being much in his life at all, things like that. When those things started changing is when he started changing from “we’re dating” to “I’m not sure what I’m doing.” So, if this doesn’t work, trying to meet someone now with THIS shift, in this small town, who has all the qualities I want…its going to be even harder than it was before when I had weekends free.

My husky, Carlito, is missing. He got loose a month ago today. He’s 13-1/2 years old, and he has arthritis in his hips, so I am more and more worried that he won’t be coming back. I’m sad and miss him…and hate worrying that he is more than likely not coming back. No one has reported seeing him since the day I reported him missing, and there are a lot of woods surrounding this small town, and an interstate….and I just don’t want to think about it beyond that. Its sad and I miss him.

Otherwise, for the most part my life is going great…but here in the last few weeks, I’ve lost a few friends because they now have girlfriends, and the guy I like and in MY head I’ve been dating for the last year, he is in an antisocial mood this week and not talking…but I made a new friend, unfortunately another guy, haha. All of my “guy friends” that I’m talking about, they have kids who are friends of Ian, which is how I met them. This new friend is the same, his son and daughter (twins) are friends of Ian, and after talking here and there and a few visits, we are developing a friendship anyway. He is a really nice guy, and I admit, back when I first saw him over a year ago (our boys are in cub scouts), I thought he was cute, but found out he was married so never took a second glance at him after that. But, we are talking and developing a friendship, so that is nice.

Well, that’s it, I’m caught up. I wish everyone well and maybe I’ll get some readers again… I’ll post pics soon.

November 12, 2008

Lost my blogging mojo…PICS AT THE END of the long post

Filed under: family,Ian,random — dianabananapancakes @ 9:49 pm

I lost my blogging mojo. I used to have regular readers, but with changes in my web site due to certain people finding my site that I didn’t want them to find it, I changed the name and addy to my blog many times and lost people each time. Now I no longer have regular followers, so I haven’t felt the need to keep up with blogging.

But, lately I’ve had need to vent, so I will do so…

WORK – SUCKS ASS! I have done transcription for 13 years, right out of college. Its done well to support my family of me and my son, and even when I was married it worked out so great for me, I was able to be a stay-at-home mom and support my son and I for years, but its gotten harder and harder to make the same amount of lines as the small company I originally worked for was purchased by another company and then another big company which is who owns it now. That company has recently changed majority share holders, and now it is owned by a company in India and the troubles have started and I’m working now less than minimum wage for a job I used to bring home $1600+ AFTER taxes and AFTER health benefits a month 10 years ago to now less than minimum wage in the last month. I’m job hunting again, but afraid I will no longer be able to work at home. I need health insurance because I haven’t been able to afford it through the last 5 years when they were purchased by the bigger company. We are suddenly as of Oct. 15th left in the dark, work pool low and not consistent, and I no longer can depend on this job. I hope to find something in the transcription field, but am getting this urge to go back to school and look for something better.

CELL PHONE – someone stole my new cell, motorola RAZR, I only had it 2 months, had some pics of Ian and I and some video of us on there, someone has that, and has listened to my voicemail, and itmakes me oddly feel violated in that way, someone has personal texts of mine, someone has listened to my personal voicemail and has pics of my son and I and phone numbers of people in my life…and the used my cell to go online, 198.00 of data usage and 99.77 of downloads! Thankfully I have AT&T and talked to them as soon as I knew it was missing, they waived my charges thank goodness! I didn’t have insurance and can’t afford a brand new phone right now as my job is shitty as mentioned above, so I’m using a very old, crappy phone, but at least I have phone service again.

LOVE LIFE – is nonexistent. I am seeing someone, have been seeing someone since the last day of Feb. 2008. He is a great guy. I met him in October and over time of getting to know him have really come to like him and care about him. We have seen each other only once a week for most of that time, but in the last 2 months its been reduced to once a month due to work schedule changes and the fact that we live a little over an hour apart. I really like him, though met him in odd circumstances and it involves his friend, who I never dated, but his friend was a FWB of mine for a while, no interest in dating, but this guy I have been spending time with and talking nearly every day I DO have an interest in dating. A few months into it, he said he thought we were dating, so I went with it because I liked him. I still like him, but as things changed (my not having a sitter anymore as my ex-husband decided to disappear from his son’s life AGAIN) and then work schedules and he has always said from the beginning that the distance is an issue. Now 8-1/2 months later its changed from “i thought we were dating” from him to now him saying he doesn’t know what he wants, that the distance is an issue, but he doesn’t know what he is doing with me or what he wants, and he admits to having guilt over the fact that I was his buddy’s FWB, even though I never dated his FWB, while he also admitted a few months ago that if I lived closer he would be over every day if I let him. So, I don’t know what to make of it and i’m sure me being a single parent is an issue as well though he says it is not, he has not met my son and that is my choice until I know we will be a couple, but he admits to not knowing how to deal with kids. He has never been married and has no kids.

IAN – is doing great in school academically, but he has had some behavioral issues of talking and being disruptive, which I figure partially has to do with his father suddenly disappearing this summer again, he has not seen his dad since Father’s day, and his dad has only called him 2 times since then, and then the last time he talked to his dad was 1-1/2 weeks ago on a Monday, his dad told him that he was going to come see him on friday, and he told me the same thing that he was going to see Ian on friday…HE NEVER SHOWED UP. He hasn’t called since. This is how he’s been off and on and now Ian is old enough that it upsets him. He told me “I’m mad at my dad” and I asked why and he said “because he lied to me.” So, its irritating and hurtful to see him acting out because of his loser dad.

EYE CANDY – I just was introduced to some new eye candy in town. I’ve checked out this single dad for a few years, and he’s a really nice guy, but no way he would want to date a girl like me. There are more single women than men in this area, at least less single men who are worth grabbing, who have jobs and are not low-lifes or dead-beats, who are actually responsible and part of their kid’s lives, etc…very few choices here for women in this small town, but the men here have their pick and choose it seems. Well, I was introduced to a new piece of eye candy at a gaming center here in town that just opened. Turns out my step-mom knows him, ha. He used to do computer networking for the small company she works at and that she is friends with him, which I never knew, and so he and I chatted while my kiddo played games at his new gaming center (online video games). He is HOT, and very nice.

Ok, thought I’d share some pics with more to come!

08-2008
Sunny LOVES strawberries!
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First day of school – 2nd grade
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go-cart racing – last day of summer spent at the Family Fun Center Grand Prix in South Charleston WV. He had a great time.
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Trying something new – I spend way too much money on Ian for little crap that he doesn’t need, so I’ve decided at age 7 he’s old enough to start a chore chart and earning some allowance, this way it curbs my spending on him for little things here and there, and he learns to save up his money when he wants to get something. So far its done pretty well, he will still ask me for stuff here and there, but not as often and usually he says “I can get that in a month!” he’s loving the checking things off the list…
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This little thing is one of those sticky things you can get out of the quarter machines at the front of stores, its about 1 inch big, its been on this wall for 3 months and counting, haha…
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This is Mr. Turtle, Ian got him in Hawaii from his Hawaii Grandmama, its a sea turtle. He has him in his bed every night to sleep, and now his chore list includes making his bed, and this is what he does with Mr. Turtle every morning.
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09/2008 – my dog had to have a procedure, poor guy, he was knocked out with anesthesia and pain meds, was on antibiotics, but now I’m happy to report he has made a complete recovery and is doing great!
09-2008

09/2008 – tons of motorcycles, its hard to see, but they go WAAAAY back to where the men at the end are standing, there were at least 60+ motorcycles! It was so neat to see, they stopped in our small town for a break. Sorry for the bad pic, its from my cell phone, the one that was STOLEN 2 weeks ago. sigh.
tons of motorcycles

Sunny our puppy, looking out the window like he usually does while waiting in the car-line to pick up kids from school. I swear this is one of Sunny’s favorite parts of the day, he gets so excited when I say “lets go get Ian” haha.
Waiting for Ian

10/2008 – double rainbow driving out of our small town.
double rainbow 09-2008

Kiddo with his new halloween costume! He is a Clone Trooper, not a storm trooper, I have already been educated on this fact. He is “Commander Fox” from the Star Wars clone wars animated movie. He loves it so much he still wears it around and plays clone wars!
Halloween costume 2008

I’ll post more as I have posted a ton already!! catching up since August, so I will soon post more October and starting this month of pics! whew! Enjoy!

September 27, 2008

I love this song

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 2:32 am

It fits where I am in my life in some parts of my life right now….

September 26, 2008

GRRR

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 10:42 am

I just wrote a big long post with pics and catching up, and then the fucker didn’t load, so now I’m frustrated and not going to type right now, ugh!!

August 31, 2008

pics, pics, pics….

Filed under: family,Ian,random — dianabananapancakes @ 11:15 pm

I haven’t posted in a long time, I’m not even sure who if anyone reads this blog anymore…but I will post pics anyway….

Here goes!ย  there are a ton of them!

Making sushi!ย  I was craving it so bad, and mom sent me the stuff to make it from Hawaii, so I went at it!
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The final product…tons of sushi! lol
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4th of July 2008 with the family…
my sister and her boyfriend
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Aside from my big chunky belly, I love this pic of Sunny!
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We had a memorial for my grandpa, and the neighboring camp had also lost a family member around the same time, so we had a joint memorial for both…
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We tossed flower petals that were taken from the funeral flower arrangements,its hard to tell but those are the flower petals in the river…
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FINALLY – the pics to my cousin Debra’s wedding to her man Joe! They got married July 12, 2008. It was a fun, beautiful wedding that she put together. She was so beautiful as usual, she’s one of the sweetest people I know….aside from me of course! haha….here’s her wedding pics via my camera –

The men from the wedding party –
the men

My uncle and beautiful cousin
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“Kiss the bride” shot
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The new Mr. and Mrs.
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Cake time.
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Oh yes they did!
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awwww, they even cleaned each other up! teehee
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Little photographer…My cousin’s son, who was 7 at the time of this wedding, is going to be 8 in September, he was so friggin adorable with the camera and all up in the wedding shot taking! I loved it!
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First dance as husband and wife
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My dad and step-mom dancing
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My sis didn’t get much sleep the night before, so she kept falling asleep, hahahahaha, I was so messing with her!
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They had karaoke, which actually went over pretty well…even Ian and my cousin’s son went in on it! They had fun doing it, too.
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Their photographer, Rachel B., ROCKED! Not to mention she had a wicked cool camera bag! haha, she was very nice and even responded to me online when I had comments to her blog….here’s the pics from her awesome photographer view, she is a great photographer and love her work so much I keep checking her blog for stuff not even related to my cousin. ๐Ÿ™‚

Debra and Joe’s engagement shots which ROCKED, they are SO FUN!! I can’t say enough how much I love these pics!! My faves are the one with the blue wall, and the ones laying in the grass.

The wedding shots by Rachel B. Ian even made it into a shot on her blog, teehee….I love the pic she caught of him!

August 4, 2008

Slick’s questions…

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 6:41 pm

Ok, I obviously have no idea what to type about so I thought I’d humor slick by answering his ridiculous, er, I mean, awesome questions….

1.) Where are you from?
2.) What did the ocean smell like before women started swimming?
3.) How old is your washer and dryer?
4.) One word onlyโ€ฆ.describe your sex life.

1 – I’m from everywhere HA! I was born in Okinawa, grew up in various states and currently living in BFE, W to the V.

2 – stinky men.

3 – about 10 years old and 9 years old, respectively.

4 – ROCKIN!

You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming….

July 29, 2008

GRIPE ALERT – PART 2 or UPDATE

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 1:44 pm

So, the loser ex FINALLY calls Ian last night. I answer the call and he said “what are you doing?” and I said “working” and he said “oh, when’s a good time to call Ian then” and I said “you can talk to him now” and put Ian on the phone, well they talk and when Ian hands me back the phone after they talk for about 2 minutes, Ian said “dad said we could’ve come to see him at work on saturday” and I got on the phone. Loser ex asks how the birthday party went, the party for HIS DAUGHTER BY ANOTHER WOMAN, and he’s asking me how it went? I said “good I guess” and he said you guess and I said “well, as far as parties go” and then he told me the same thing he told Ian: “you guys could’ve come to my work, that would’ve been nice” and I was SPEECHLESS, I couldn’t even think of what to say! Finally I said “I don’t even know where you work” and he said “same place I’ve worked for over a year now” and I said “like I know where that is, like we’ve ever talked about which place you work at” and he said “well that’s true” DUH!! I said “besides, we haven’t heard anything from you in over a month, how do I know what’s going on with you if you dont call your son.” and he’s all “well nothing’s changed except me and her broke up” and I again was speechless that he thinks nothing has changed and expects me to believe that….

LETS SEE –
*he MAY be the dad to someone else’s kid,though he says he’s not to his now ex-gf.
*he has a new number
*he moved and is living with someone I don’t know and up until last night I didn’t even know what city he was living in.

so, yeah, I think a few things have changed…but the nerve of him to tell IAN we should’ve gone to his work after the b-day party! He doesn’t call his son in over a month and he gets all high and mighty that WE should’ve stopped by? It would’ve “been nice” ???? Well, he should’ve called his son in the last month plus, THAT would’ve been nice…ugh!!

July 26, 2008

GRIPE ALERT….condensed version….

Filed under: Ian — dianabananapancakes @ 4:31 pm

My loser ex has NOT called his son since Ian went to see him on Father’s day weekend. Not a single call to his son to say hi, to say he loves Ian, to say he misses him. NOTHING. I got a call from Ian’s dad’s now ex-gf….she was calling to tell us about Ian’s sister’s 1st b-day party. She asked me if loser has called his son and I said no, she said that’s sad, said that loser-ex has called her to see their daughter. The part that bothers me is that she said he has come to see his daughter a few times in the last few weeks…yet he hasn’t even bothered to call his son to say HI in the last month. Sure we live an hour away from him (his choice, he moved away), but how hard is it to make a call? Its not like Ian talks for an hour, he maybe talks about 5 minutes or so. Am I surprised? Again, actually yes. Why do I let this surprise me? Because he at least would call Ian at least once a month or more here in the last few years, and he was at least wanting to see my son when I would call and say I would be in the area if he wanted to see his son, I could drop by. Now that he’s not living with his now ex-gf, I have no way to get hold of him, and have to wait for him to call Ian. I found out through the ex-gf that he has one of those tracphones which he uses to call her, but he wont use it to call his son. If I wanted to, I could ask the ex-gf for his number, but I’m standing firm in that if HE wants to contact his son, he knows my number. If he doesn’t remember it, he could ask his ex-gf because she still has it.

So, we went to Ian’s sister’s 1st b-day party on Saturday, and the loser-ex didn’t show. Which was probably just to cover his own arse because of how he did his daughter’s momma and her family was all there. But, the part that bugged me was that Ian was upset that he didn’t get to see his dad, he was hoping he was going to be there.

I met the loser-ex’s ex-gf’s mom (wha?) who watched Ian a few times while Ian was at his dad’s and his dad’s now ex-gf’s when they both had school. She told me Ian’s always good with his little sister and that he’s a good kid. Odd to meet someone I never met who watched my kid apparently a lot.

He still hasn’t called his son, yet that very morning before the party Ian’s dad went to see his daughter. his ex-gf told me he was all talking big about he was going to spend time with his daughter before and during the party, but ended up only spending 20 min. with her and then left. So, I guess Ian’s not missing out a whole bunch if he won’t even spend more than 20 min. with the baby.

sheesh.

Ok, I’m done griping about the loser ex for now. He still prefers drugs and alcohol over his family, still prefers lying and cheating over his family, and so he will never change and someday it will bite him in the ass. In the meantime, I will just continue to be the best parent I can be to Ian and try to show him how a parent shows love to their child. He will grow up and make his own judgment about his dad someday, but for now I want him to know that he is loved, and someday he will realize that I did everything for his best interest.

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