Diana Banana Pancakes

November 1, 2005

SPD and SPT

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 5:03 pm

SPD – Power Rangers, Space Patrol Delta.

My mom bought Ian a power rangers Halloween costume. Long story short, last year I asked my ex if he wanted to take Ian trick-or-treating. He said yes, but I told him he had to buy his costume if he takes him, its only fair. He said he would. 1-1/2 days BEFORE trick-or-treating, my ex bailed out, said he couldn’t afford a costume. Myself and my step-mom, on two different days, ran around like mad women trying to find a costume for Ian. He wanted to be Spiderman. Lots of kids wanted to be spider man, so we couldn’t find a spider man. My step-mom found a Ninja outfit he was happy with. She had to hem it as it was too long, but we couldn’t find anything smaller. Thank goodness for my step-mom, she saved Ian’s Halloween. So, this year my ex FOUGHT me to have him, argued and argued with me, so I gave in to him in exchange for me keeping my son 1/2 of Saturday so my son could play in his last soccer game. Again I told my ex he has to buy the costume or make something. He said he would. I told him my mom was going to buy something, he adamantly argued that she can’t its “MY halloween, MY year.” I told him “she wants to do this because she doesn’t want the same thing that happened last year.” He argued “Yeah, and, that was last year, this is this year.” Well, thank goodness my mom purchased this costume. Three days before he was to get Ian, he called and asked if my mom bought Ian a costume because he “couldn’t find what he wanted to get him” even though when he said he was gonna get it, he was supposedly going to find it that weekend, but he waited till the last minute. So, this is what I missed. Ian wanted to wear his costume before Halloween, and I took this picture. I’m glad I did, because I didn’t get to see Ian on Halloween. My ex was supposed to bring him home after trick-or-treating, but he didn’t. He called at 8:30 p.m. (he lives an hour away from me) to say that he did not have a way to bring Ian home, and that he would to it tomorrow (Tuesday), even though Ian has school. He told me he had arrangements. Then told me that around 4:00 his dad found out Ian had trick or treating and he decided that was too late to drive home. So, my ex knew for 4-1/2 hours, so I could’ve made arrangements and had my son home with me, to tell me about his trick-or-treating, the first one I missed, to show me him in his costume with all his candy, to tell me happy birthday, to hug on my birthday. I miss my son. He is still not home, and I’m not even sure when my ex plans to bring him home. I cried last night, all the stress just came down on me. Everyone was calling and saying happy birthday, and I was sad because I wanted my son there. I didn’t even get to talk to my son until 8:30 that night, and only because my ex was going to hang up and I said “well, can I talk to my son?” and then he said “oh, sure.” So, I’m glad I had this pic to look at, imaging him doing his trick-or-treating.

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The mask is a tiny bit too big, and I LOVE the muscles “sewn” into this costume, haha. He loves it, too. When he wears it he says “Look at my stroooooong muscles, mommy!”.

About a month ago I discovered this site called SPTSelf Portrait Tuesday. I was just checking out the photos, but have decided to try to push my photographic artistic limits, or at least try to see if I can capture me, in my own way, with my cheap-arse little digi camera, lol.

I LOVE this site, I love seeing people’s photo interpretations. Photos have always been important to me, I love seeing pictures of the past, of people, I love looking at pictures and trying to read the person in front of the lens, and even sometimes the person behind the lens, see what they are trying to capture. Its as close to true “art” that I’ve truly loved. Someday, I will have an awesome camera, and someday I’ll be able to take the kind of photography class that I want, and maybe be able to spend a lot more time on photography, but for now, I love sites like this that make me both look inside myself, and look at photos differently, see a story.

So, for the month of November, here is what we are supposed to do for SPT:

November Challenge – ‘exploration of identity’
The Challenge – ‘exploration of identity’

– Dressing yourself up to explore your different selves eg. parent, child, sibling, work colleague, student, artist, gender, etc. You could also explore your beliefs – political, religious, etc. Minority groups that you identify with – sexual orientation, race issues etc. Or issues that are going on in your life right now – marital problems, self doubt issues, etc. Or look at wider world issues such as poverty, war etc.

This challenge can be as fun or as serious as you want to make it. Maybe you can use each week to explore something different that you feel strongly about, or to explore a different aspect of yourself.

Here are some photos I took this morning, around 3 a.m. I just finished work, stressing over bills, schedules, over the fact that my ex failed to bring my son home to me after trick-or-treating so I didn’t get to see him on my birthday. I was feeling stressed and lonely, worrying. This is one part of my identity…

The Worrier

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Work

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Schedules – my calendar, my eyes tired so I take off my glasses, my pen ready to write more things down, my coffee cup in the background – me trying to keep my sanity by keeping a little piece of me – my love for chococat

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Me, stressed, frustrated at my financial situation, at my situation with my ex, missing my son, lonely on my birthday – worrying.

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4 Comments »

  1. great self portrait exploration

    Comment by la vie en rose — November 1, 2005 @ 8:01 pm | Reply

  2. i like the series. i lurked around spt before i finally joined in too.

    Comment by kiki — November 1, 2005 @ 8:49 pm | Reply

  3. This is an awesome SPT!

    Comment by Trish — November 3, 2005 @ 11:59 pm | Reply

  4. Im gonna go check out your photgraphy site..sounds neat and like lots of fun!!!
    These pics RAWK girlie!!!!

    Comment by {c} — November 4, 2005 @ 12:53 am | Reply


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