Diana Banana Pancakes

November 27, 2005

Another week ahead

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 6:58 pm

I haven’t posted in a day or two, so thought I’d say HEY. 🙂

I was a little bummed today, hadn’t talked to Country Boy in a while, and hadn’t seen him since Wednesday, and before that not for a week. What can I say, I’m a needy girl, hehe. Anyway, so I was bummed the last few days where I hadn’t really talked to him, and the 2 times he called we talked for a whopping 5 minutes…TOTAL between the two times.

So I e-mailed Willie and told him how the issues I had with my ex-husband taking off for days at a time with no phone contact or anything, and my constant worry about is it me, is something wrong, and him cheating on me, etc…those issues are coming back to haunt me. Willie told me to tell Country Boy those feelings. But, I feel this isn’t something I can talk about in a 5 minute phone conversation, ya know?

So, today Country Boy IMd me while I was working and asked if I wanted to talk on the phone, so of course I said yes. We talked for a little bit and I heard from him why he wsa so damn busy here lately, all the work he wasdoing, plus taking care of his side job of wiring up a couple of houses (electrical) and helping some elderly neighbors of his fixing their heaters and such (its been cold around here). And then he had his son finally this weekend. He apologized to me, he said “Darlin I owe you an apology for not keeping in touch better, there was just so much going on I hardly had time to sleep. Do you still want to snuggle up with me?” How in the hell can I be upset with a guy like that? I then was upset at myself for being selfish.

This is a guy who WAKES UP earlier in the morning JUST to spend 15-20 minutes with me before he heads to work. This is a guy who fixes things for me without being asked. This is a guy who invites me to his house and cooks dinner for me, even after he’s been tired and working a 12 hour day and then had farm work to do. This is a guy who stops by on his way home after stopping at the store to bring Ian some cereal that he knows Ian likes. This is a guy who told me he thinks I’m beautiful, even if I feel fat and ugly. This is a guy who is more than happy to just sit and cuddle on the couch. This is a guy who got my son a Christmas present and asked if that was OK. This is a guy who has pain in his legs from an accident years ago, but allows my 4 year old to climb all over his legs while he’s wincing, and just smiles it off and goofs off with my son. How selfish am I?

Yeah, I’m needy, I need to be cuddled, I need to have contact on the phone or in person, I need to know someone’s OK, I need to know I didn’t do something to make him think I wasn’t interested, I need to know he’s still interested. I need attention in the form of anything, a phone call, an e-mail, an IM, in person, something. But, for now, I will try to get over my issues of neediness that started creeping back when Country Boy got so damn busy. He is a great guy and when I appreciate all those little things he does for me like I mentioned above, then when he apologizes to ME, I turn around and say “I know you have so much on your plate, I’m sorry for being whiney, I just miss ya.” and he says some sweet remark like this: “Well, darlin, its definitely a two way street.” And then I smile and wonder what the hell I was bummed about in the first place. women, sheesh! haha.

OK, onto another subject. I have already finished making a few Christmas presents, made most of the Christmas cards (I think I have about 15 more to make?) and I’ve been slowly clearing the place that I put the Christmas tree. I’m in the Christmas spirit, I just hate the cleaning up and putting up the holiday stuff, but once its out, I love it and light candles every night, Ian likes it so much that he makes me turn off the lights so we can have the candles and the tree lights going. (Yes, he knows not to touch the candles. They are up higher where he can’t reach anyway.)

I have lots on my to-do list before the end of the month!

1 – finish the school laundry. I volunteered to wash the sheets/blankets for my son’s preschool nap time, ugh. LOL.

2 – Clean up the living room and make it look decent, I have a home visit with Ian’s teacher in preschool.

3 – Hopefully start putting out Christmas decorations.

4 – Brush my dog – a task I hate. I put it off because I hid his brush from Ian who tried to use it to brush his own hair, lol, and then I couldn’t find where I hid the damn thing. (yeah, I’m that damn good) But, I finally found it and need to go brush my dog of the clumps of shedding hair he had that are now stuck to him, poor thing.

5 – Finish some more Christmas stuff.

6 – Work more to get extra money for Christmas, till the end of the month is for the next pay period, which will be the last pay check before Christmas! Crunch time!

7 – Do my own laundry.

Hope everyone has some fun stuff to do this weekend, had a great and safe holiday, and starts to get in the Christmas spirit. I love this time of year!

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