Diana Banana Pancakes

February 14, 2006

Can you say Bah Humbug for Valentine’s day?

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 10:14 am

Its that day again….and I’m single again. Hell, even when I was MARRIED or dating my ex-husband, this day was a lonely day. Only 1 Valentine’s day in the 6-1/2 years we were together did we actually SPEND together. Should’ve been a sign, right? That one Valentine’s day was AFTER we first got married. We got dressed up for a night in, lol….I made a nice dinner, we sat down to eat at the table (which we hardly ever did), with our new nice plates we got for our wedding, and had a nice, romantic, candle-lit dinner……by ME, I cooked, I put it together, I had the idea…then, I had planed for he and I to watch a romantic movie, and just to balance it out for him, I had surprised him by renting one of his movies he had been wanting to watch….. So, dinner is ready, candles are lit….and I am waiting…. and I’m still waiting……Dinner is getting cold by all the waiting, so I put it back in the oven a little…..1-1/2 hours after he was supposed to be home, he finally shows up. I greet him at the door, give him a big kiss, tell him happy Valentine’s day. At his seat at the table is a card and a small gift, plus the whole dinner/movie thing I did. He said he’s surprised and goes to clean up to join me. We sit down and eat and actually talk. (mind you, we just got married 2 months before this and he had already started the habit that was to become the marriage killer for us – disappearing all the time). So, we eat, we talk, he opens his card from me and his gift which isn’t much because we didn’t have a lot of money (even though we both worked good paying jobs and I also had another part time job teaching colorguard/dance on the side). He says thanks, kisses me on the lips with a quick peck and says he loves me. Then he proceeds to walk out the door….no hug, no telling me where he’s going, no movies while cuddling on the couch, no cuddling at all, no love making…..he just ate and ran out the door. I didn’t get a card, I didn’t get flowers, I didn’t get anything. It was like it was just another day, which is fine, but this was our first Valentine’s day as husband and wife. He comes home 5 hours later, and we argue because I find out he spent the last 5 hours at his pothead homie’s house instead of with me.

Happy effen Valentine’s day.

The years before and after were much the same. Apparently I have this knack for dating guys who aren’t into the whole sweetness for their girlfriend deal. I did have an ex-fiance before my ex-husband. HE did get me something for Valentine’s day…..ONLY after I bought him a little card and a CD he’s been saying he wants. He climbs in the car with me and drives me to the mall….ON VALENTINE’S DAY, picks me out a small gold bracelet and a couple of red roses….with me right there. While it was nice to have those things….he only did them AFTER I had given him my gifts/card and so I guess he felt bad. Bye bye romance from that day.

To me, I don’t need you to BUY me something, hell, write me a love note, give me a back rub or rub my feet, rent a movie you know I’ve been dying to see, make dinner for me, draw me a bubble bath, buy one single rose cause I don’t need a dozen, wash and vacuum out my car, do some laundry for me, vacuum my apartment, take me for a picnic, sneak a love note into my jacket pocket, SOMETHING SMALL, I don’t ask for much. I just ask that you do it because you want to, I ask that you only do it if you care, I ask that you don’t do it as an afterthought. Hell, you don’t even have to do it JUST on Valentine’s day, I’d love something like this at any time.

Romance is definitely something I’d love to experience, and it has eluded me.

I’ve never gotten a Valentine’s day card that wasn’t from a family member (no, I don’t count grade school where you have to buy cards for every-freaking-body), never got flowers on that day (aside from the above-mentioned ex-fiance as an afterthought) that wasn’t from family. No teddy bears or box of chocolates, or even just a “Happy Valentine’s day sweetie, I love you” on that day.

So, I hope all you couples who get to celebrate today with your sweetie cherish it, even if you got the smallest ass gift or just a card…..be glad your honey made the effort at all. Trust me.

Have a happy valentine’s day.

Diana, who at this point would just love to be able to cuddle with someone special today, he doesn’t even have to get me a single thing, just cuddle and be there with me.

p.s. The only ray of sunshine today….the only man who has constantly made me smile through the rough patches, my son Ian, woke up this morning with his sleepy voice and said “Happy Valentine’s day mommy”, before he even got out of bed. Someday I hope he will be a romantic guy.

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1 Comment »

  1. Aww girl, I’m sorry.

    Comment by Mike — February 14, 2006 @ 4:13 pm | Reply


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