Diana Banana Pancakes

March 13, 2006

Blew some money

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 10:48 am

I took Ian to see his dad this weekend. I drove the hour drive there, I made sure he had his clothes and medicine….I drove Ian and his loser dad to the family fun center…….was it appreciated? Hell no. What does he do? He doesn’t give Ian a bath, his SISTER had to tell Ian to brush his teeth, decides Ian doesn’t need the medicine and so doesn’t give it to him, and now Ian has green yucky shit coming out of his nose and is coughing all night last night, and during Saturday ex bitches because I refuse to drive them around town. Oh yeah, and then he bugs IAN about “when are you gonna come see me again buddy?” Like its up to a nearly-5-year-old. Oh yeah, and he doesn’t offer to give me gas money either.

He failed to tell me that he moved in with some guy he works with. As of Thursday when I last talked to him, he was still living at the Men’s Shelter, supposedly had to get permission from them to stay the night at his sister’s house when I brought Ian over (the only way I would agree to bringing Ian over was if he stayed at his sister’s house), but his sister told me he told her about moving in with some guy that she knows of, but doesn’t know personally, so she said she’s not sure if he’s telling the truth or how long he’s actually been gone from the shelter, he told her he moved out Friday. She’s going to do some investigating for me and let me know. She said she’s caught him in a few lies in the last few weeks also, so its hard to say what is the truth coming out of his mouth.

I dread letting Ian spend too much time with him, because Ian ends up getting disappointed and then mad for a while. Ian was hesitant around him at first, of course, he hadn’t really seen him in 2 months, and before that was 2 months prior, so 4 months since he’s stayed with night with his dad. But, by the time I picked him up Sunday afternoon, he was again hanging on his dad….and that is good and bad, because he gets close to his dad and then his dad disappoints him again. I was a lucky kid growing up in that I never had that problem, when my dad said he was going to be there, he was there, like clockwork. Even as we got older and we lived in a different state than my dad, again, he never cancelled a visitation unless we wanted to cancel for some reason, and he and my mom always communicated and compromised for us. At any rate, I would never keep Ian from his father unless I thought Ian’s life was in danger. I believe even loser dad’s need to be part of their kid’s life for some part if they show interest in it, I believe in letting the kids discover for themselves how their parent is and whether or not they want a relationship with the “deadbeat” or not. I know he’s in for lots of disappointment, but unfortunately Ian can’t change that and I can’t change that, and I feel if I try to keep Ian from his dad because of my own personal reasons, well for 1 its wrong on a legal level, and 2 if he doesn’t make his own decisions on his dad, then he’ll resent ME for it, and 3, I would not want someone to make a decision like that about my kid based on personal disgust, lol.

Anyway, so after I dropped Ian and his loser dad off at the family fun center, I drove around the city aimlessly. I called my friend UA and we went and caught a movie and had some lunch, and just drove around and talked. Then after he left, I just felt this overwhelming feeling of NOT wanting to go home….alone. Odd right since I have lived on my own for 4 years since leaving my ex, but I just did not want to go home, so I procrastinated in town, did some window shopping…and then I saw a hotel and just decided I was going to rent a room and just hang out in the city, my logic was “that way if I need to get Ian for any reason then I’m right here, a 15 minute drive away.” So, that’s what I did, I got a room, ordered in pizza, grabbed my overnight bag that I leave in my car for emergencies (hey, a single girl never knows when she’s gonna need an emergency overnight bag, haha), and RELAXED! I took a hot shower, turned on the TV and watched whatever I wanted without the worry of the content that Ian can’t watch or the language he can’t hear, without having to suffer through another evening of the Power Rangers, I called some people, but other people with lives were actually out and about on a Saturday night, haha. I ate my pizza and just chilled. The next morning I was able to sleep in till 9 am, and I just turned on the TV and chilled some more, ate pizza for breakfast, haha, bleh, and took my time, another nice hot, LONG shower, took my time getting dressed and finally left the hotel around 11, check out time was noon. And you know what? I felt rejuvinated, relaxed, refreshed….I felt great! I hit a clothing store and got a pair of pants and some new kicks since my current ones I’d had for stinking 8 years, haha, time for a new pair, lol, hit Michael’s and found some cute little round tims with a label in the front (gift giving or organizing idea) and a few small scrapbook items, never made it to Starbucks, but I found a nice coffee shop in Books-a-Million, a store I love, checked out some scrapbook magazines while I drank my coffee, browsed some books, then loser calls and breaks my relaxing mood, haha. But, it was time to go get Ian, so I was happy with that. I went back to his sister’s house and hung out a bit with her, chatting away, we hadn’t really talked in a while except some online catching up, so that was nice. Got Ian packed up and out the door and we were on the road home.

I’d never in my life got a hotel room just for me “just because” like that, I don’t usually spend money on me like that, unless its scrapbook supplies once in a blue moon, but never just blow money on a hotel room for no reason other than I didn’t want to go home, order pizza just for me….I surprised myself, but I really REALLY needed that break, that change of scenery, that ALONE TIME! I never get alone time unless for a reason like I’m working or I have to clean the apartment and Ian’s in the way so I send him to my dad’s house. So, it was a much needed break and man, I feel great!


1 Comment »

  1. Girl i tell ya you are in a hard place….I don’t know if I could personally let his dad see him..why does he deserve it is what I keep asking myself…poor Ian…I am praying for you chicka…you need it….


    Comment by Greta — March 13, 2006 @ 5:15 pm | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: