Diana Banana Pancakes

June 26, 2006

Laughter is the BEST medicine!

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 5:58 pm

OK, first of all, if you don’t know what’s been going on, sorry, but I deleted the chunk of the post where I typed a lot of it out, I was just an emotional blubber. Last week it was a hard thing to deal with, but, I’m doing better this week after this weekend, and after talking to some people and getting some “points of views” to ponder. Let me just say that Country Boy is no longer in my life, maybe as a friend down the road, but right now he chose a path that does not include me in it, and that’s fine, whatever his reasons, whether they make sense to anyone or not, the end result is while he asked me to be patient and give him some time a month ago, now he’s committing to someone else. Yes I was hurt, surprisingly so. I knew I had feelings for him, but I never thought I’d be affected that badly, I guess it was the false hope of again being with a guy who was good to me when we were together. But, he chose his path, for whatever reason, and I know its not because of anything I did. I let him break me for a week, where I doubted myself, doubted the time we spent together, and now I’m just going to move forward.

I got that news last weekend, a week ago…and had my ups and downs since then. I talked to Country Boy on Thursday in person for a short while, I got some answers to some questions, and found a tiny bit of peace, had some more questions, but in the end, nothing is gonna change his mind, and I’m not gonna beg him to, and I’ll be fine with that eventually, and I know I’m slowly moving on.

So, in an effort to do that (move on), on Friday I started a mad search to make some plans for the weekend, I was gonna GET OUT and have some FUN, not sit at home and think about things that won’t change, and can’t do anything but make me sad….I was determined to be around others and laugh and have some fun, and damn it I did, and I feel great now.

On Friday I called people, during the week I called people to talk and got some opinions and such, but I ended up making plans with my friend Jim cause he was the only one who was available this weekend on such short notice. He is getting ready to go on vacation to Florida in a couple of weeks, so he’s been saving his dinero (money) to blow out there, lol. So, we made plans just to hang out at his place, watch some movies, whatever.

I took my son to the ex’s place (which I also got to see where he’s living now, and it is acceptable for Ian to stay in, but wondering how much truth he’s telling me about it) and went out to Huntington to hang out with my friend Jim. I enjoy hanging out with Jim. He’s one of the few people who will tell me things to my face, no sugar coating, tells it like he sees it, even if he knows I won’t want to hear it or it might make me cry, he’s like me, he believes its better to know the truth and hurt, then to sugar coat shit and find out its just not what you thought. I respect that in him, and when I need some hard-core advice, I usually turn to Jim. I just know that I wanted to be around people that I know never have lied to me, who I know I enjoy their company and conversation. So, being that I really don’t know anyone here in WV, it limited it to a few people, and since I’d known Jim the longest, and he was around when I first met Country Boy, I decided I trust him and want to spend time with him. I wanted to spend time around someone else, but he never did get back to me, lol. Like I said, I should take the friggin hint, but oh well.

Anyway, so hanging with Jim and his son Tony was nice, relaxing, watching some movies, being a smart-ass, hearing his no-nonsense advice, lol “either he’s been lying the whole time, or he’s fucked up in the head, either way, you’re better off” haha…seems to be the concensus among the men friends I have, and I know they are right.

Tony cracks me up, while his dad got some pizza Saturday night Tony was telling me about his girlfriend, showed me some pics of her, he was so happy, hehe. So, hopefully I’ll get to hang with them again soon, and Jim said I’ll have to bring Ian back up one time, too. Jim is the one who gave Ian that kid-size guitar which Ian loves to play, lol, the video on my sidebar.

Before I went to Jim’s house, I had gotten in touch from an old friend from high school. Actually I knew him from the skating rink back in the day, haha. 7th or 8th grade, the place to be back then was the skating rink, and this guy Gary, but everyone called him Chip, used to DJ at the rink. At first it was the whole high school crush thing, but he soon became a friend (see everyone, I TOLD you I’m always the friend! I swear, that pattern was obvious way back then!!!), he was a senior when I was a freshman….well after he graduated we talked for a little while longer, then he went off to school and we lost touch, havent heard from him since 1989. Well, he e-mailed me through classmates.com and we started exchanging e-mails, and he said he’d love to chat on the phone again, so we exchanged numbers, and we ended up talking a bit….he was the party guy back in the day, your typical California boy, blond hair, blue eyes, party animal, social guy, surfing, water skiing, snowboarding….all that stuff, and he still is. Its so wierd now to talk to him nearly 18 years later, he has girls, but at the same time he’s still basically the same. he called me last weekend when the drama happened, and I didn’t take his call, so this past weekend I returned his call and we chatted a good hour before I was headed to Jim’s house. I called my voicemail after I left Jim’s house and Chip called again and said he enjoyed talking and would like to talk more. I love reconnecting with people from my past, its fun to see how they’ve changed, how much they are still the same, where they’ve gone in life, what they’ve experienced, reminiscing about things, I just LOVE all that stuff.

I woke up feeling great today, not stressed, not sad. I was pretty sad all last week, not sleeping or eating well, questioning everything…but now I feel different. Now I feel sorry for Country Boy, cause he acted impulsively and now he has to deal with it. But, I can’t do anything for him but pray and hope he is able to make the best of it. Who knows, maybe he’ll be happy afterall. In the end, I was his friend for the last 5 months while we weren’t dating, and knowing me, I’ll probably still be his friend if he needs me. But, its amazing how some time around someone you know and truly trust (Jim), and just being your old self, will help you move on some and find some clarity. Sure sometimes it still hurts, but I got a full night’s sleep….10 hrs to be exact!!! and I got to do a little shopping therapy, got me some Starbucks and a few laughs hanging out with Tony while his dad went to get pizza…. when Jim did make me tell him what was going on and I was crying, he’d make me laugh and he was there for me when I needed him….it was a much needed break and I’m glad I did that instead of sulking in my room. I’m generally not the sulking type, I’m a happy person, and I’m so glad I got proactive and hung out with Jim and his son Tony. I got to work today and everyone around me could tell the difference. Talking to my mom last night she didn’t even know I was ever bothered with anything.

So, here’s to moving on, to having friends who are honest and truthful, to always having someone to talk to, to new friends who ya want to get to know more, and to NEVER letting someone make you feel like you weren’t enough or doubt yourself. Everyone told me it wasn’t about me, but I had a moment of self-doubt, but even Country Boy said it wasn’t anything about me, haha. So, I’m on a good path, feeling great, lovin my friends, looking forward to hopefully getting out again this weekend and doing someone….OOPS, I meant something, SOMETHING, haha….yeah, as I was typing I caught that, and decided, what the hell, I’ll leave it in, cause I’m in a humerous mood damn it, lol.

Hope everyone is having a great day, cause I know I am already.

Thanks to my friends who listened to me be upset and told me the same thing, the truth, and what I needed to hear, I am better off without that mess, and I don’t need that drama, and it has nothing to do with me…thanks Jim, Bill, Bekah and Allen. You guys rock! Especially thanks to Bekah and Allen, I’ve just recently started getting to know you guys, and you guys have become those types of people that just make me want to open up and tell you my freaking life story, haha. I apologize for that, but I appreciate your guys’ honest, a trait I truly value in people.

Later DUDES, I’m off my break time….

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3 Comments »

  1. I am so glad that you are feeling happy again Diana!! I was worrying about you!! I am always here for you!! ((HUGE HUGS))

    Comment by Donna Walk — June 26, 2006 @ 9:58 pm | Reply

  2. glad to see you are getting out and about….

    Comment by Greta — June 27, 2006 @ 2:51 pm | Reply

  3. So glad you are feeling stronger and happier!!

    Comment by SpAzzGiRL — June 27, 2006 @ 4:54 pm | Reply


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