Diana Banana Pancakes

May 15, 2009

Catching up…

Filed under: Uncategorized — dianabananapancakes @ 7:43 pm

Well well well….here I am, back in the blogging world after an absence. I have to say, I truly lost my blogging mojo and I couldn’t figure out why…then it dawned on me lately as things in my life have changed. I lost it because I had someone I could talk to, several someones I could talk to about things going on in my life, and I didn’t need to vent or put it out here for the blog-world to see, not that many people were even reading my blogs anymore anyway.

So, I thought I’d catch up, and share why I’m back in the blogging world again…

First off, I finally left my job, it was getting TOO bad. They had sold to a company from overseas, and slowly and gradually things got worse and worse to where I was making MINIMUM WAGE, and I can’t support my son and I on minimum wage. I was lucky, my ex-sis-in-law (I’m still close with my ex’s family for the most part) had mentioned that they were hiring at the local hospital where she works at, same position I do. So, I went and called, yes they were hiring, tested, and got the job. I started mid December, and quit my job with the other company that I’d been with for 10 years. It was harder than I thought leaving, probably because I’d been there for so long, and I was “comfortable”, in my little box, my “safe place”, but this new job has been a God send, a blessing in many ways. I’m still doing transcription, I still get to work from home, and now I get health insurance. I work midnights, which I don’t like because this job as it is makes it hard to meet people in a new city when I work from home and don’t do the “bar” thing…but with the personal benefits, I really can’t complain too much, and as many people in this economy have been let go by their jobs, its definitely a blessing to have a good job.

I’ve PAID OFF all my debt! It has been years in the works, and I finally paid off the last of my debt! I’m so proud of myself. Granted, I don’t own a house or anything, but now I can reach that goal soon. First on the agenda is a new car, though. I’ve had the same car for 14 years, its been a good car, lived a good life. It has nearly 200,000 miles on it, and over the past 5 years I’ve had to fix SOMETHING on it to the tune of $400+ a year on it, so now I figure its time to look into getting a new one. I’m excited at the prospect, but I’m also scared.

My son’s father is still a deadbeat. He still doesn’t call his son but on the rare occasion. My son, Ian, turned 8 mid April, and his dad actually remembered to call him. Before April, he hadn’t called his son since JANUARY. Yes, you read that right, January…and he hasn’t called SINCE then either. My son has a 1/2 sister through his dad, who he also hasn’t seen since December 2008 because they are an hour away and have no phone, and every time we are in town, they are no where to be found. Its hard for him, he doesn’t understand and he gets frustrated. His sister will be 2 in July, and I hope he will get to see her for her birthday at the very least.

My son, my world…I love this kid with everything I have in me! He makes me smile, he tests my patience and teaches me about myself constantly. He is doing good in school academically. He is in the 90th percentile in reading and math skills. He has a problem with talking too much in school, and I think a lot of that is because when we’re at home, its just him and I, and we are quiet at home, mellow, so when he gets around his friends, he just can’t keep much to himself. 🙂 He is in soccer and cub scouts, and next weekend is FOOTBALL sign-ups, which he’s excited for.

My new job…midnights. I hate midnights, haha. Its hard to sleep during the day when there’s sunshine begging me to go out and enjoy it and soak it up…its been tough adjusting.

I still dont’ have many friends in this small town. Working from home and working nights while everyone else is being social, its very hard to meet anyone. I have some guy-friends, but that’s hard, too, because when they have girlfriends they don’t talk much so as not to upset the new girl in their life, and I stay away so as not to step on toes and cause drama…so that kills the friends thing/social life thing very quickly.

I’ve been “dating” a guy for the past year…or so I tell myself. Its very complicated and I won’t go into it here, but he “doesn’t know” what he wants or what he is doing, he has admitted as much to me, but he also in the beginning admitted that the distance is hard for him and an issue with him. We live an hour away, we both work midnights, but I have a kid so that limits my free time going out as I have to obviously be a parent first, and our days off are different. I like him a lot, but he has reservations, and from time to time he becomes antisocial to everyone in his life. He’s in his 40s, has never married and no kids. He is, however, a person who I have been able to find myself talking to about things, everything from my ex to my son to my finances to…well, anything…and he’s always been honest, even when I don’t want to hear it. He has become my person I talk to, which probably isn’t good since I’m not sure where we stand together. I just know I look forward to hearing from him, I enjoy his company and his conversation…so I just try to go with the flow and see what happens. If it doesn’t work out, I’m not sure how I’ll try to date again with this shift. When I first met this guy, who we will call Cracker, I worked nights and he worked evenings, and our days off worked out great for each other, but as time went on, shifts changed for both of us, situations changed for me with my son’s father not being much in his life at all, things like that. When those things started changing is when he started changing from “we’re dating” to “I’m not sure what I’m doing.” So, if this doesn’t work, trying to meet someone now with THIS shift, in this small town, who has all the qualities I want…its going to be even harder than it was before when I had weekends free.

My husky, Carlito, is missing. He got loose a month ago today. He’s 13-1/2 years old, and he has arthritis in his hips, so I am more and more worried that he won’t be coming back. I’m sad and miss him…and hate worrying that he is more than likely not coming back. No one has reported seeing him since the day I reported him missing, and there are a lot of woods surrounding this small town, and an interstate….and I just don’t want to think about it beyond that. Its sad and I miss him.

Otherwise, for the most part my life is going great…but here in the last few weeks, I’ve lost a few friends because they now have girlfriends, and the guy I like and in MY head I’ve been dating for the last year, he is in an antisocial mood this week and not talking…but I made a new friend, unfortunately another guy, haha. All of my “guy friends” that I’m talking about, they have kids who are friends of Ian, which is how I met them. This new friend is the same, his son and daughter (twins) are friends of Ian, and after talking here and there and a few visits, we are developing a friendship anyway. He is a really nice guy, and I admit, back when I first saw him over a year ago (our boys are in cub scouts), I thought he was cute, but found out he was married so never took a second glance at him after that. But, we are talking and developing a friendship, so that is nice.

Well, that’s it, I’m caught up. I wish everyone well and maybe I’ll get some readers again… I’ll post pics soon.


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