Diana Banana Pancakes

November 12, 2008

Lost my blogging mojo…PICS AT THE END of the long post

Filed under: family,Ian,random — dianabananapancakes @ 9:49 pm

I lost my blogging mojo. I used to have regular readers, but with changes in my web site due to certain people finding my site that I didn’t want them to find it, I changed the name and addy to my blog many times and lost people each time. Now I no longer have regular followers, so I haven’t felt the need to keep up with blogging.

But, lately I’ve had need to vent, so I will do so…

WORK – SUCKS ASS! I have done transcription for 13 years, right out of college. Its done well to support my family of me and my son, and even when I was married it worked out so great for me, I was able to be a stay-at-home mom and support my son and I for years, but its gotten harder and harder to make the same amount of lines as the small company I originally worked for was purchased by another company and then another big company which is who owns it now. That company has recently changed majority share holders, and now it is owned by a company in India and the troubles have started and I’m working now less than minimum wage for a job I used to bring home $1600+ AFTER taxes and AFTER health benefits a month 10 years ago to now less than minimum wage in the last month. I’m job hunting again, but afraid I will no longer be able to work at home. I need health insurance because I haven’t been able to afford it through the last 5 years when they were purchased by the bigger company. We are suddenly as of Oct. 15th left in the dark, work pool low and not consistent, and I no longer can depend on this job. I hope to find something in the transcription field, but am getting this urge to go back to school and look for something better.

CELL PHONE – someone stole my new cell, motorola RAZR, I only had it 2 months, had some pics of Ian and I and some video of us on there, someone has that, and has listened to my voicemail, and itmakes me oddly feel violated in that way, someone has personal texts of mine, someone has listened to my personal voicemail and has pics of my son and I and phone numbers of people in my life…and the used my cell to go online, 198.00 of data usage and 99.77 of downloads! Thankfully I have AT&T and talked to them as soon as I knew it was missing, they waived my charges thank goodness! I didn’t have insurance and can’t afford a brand new phone right now as my job is shitty as mentioned above, so I’m using a very old, crappy phone, but at least I have phone service again.

LOVE LIFE – is nonexistent. I am seeing someone, have been seeing someone since the last day of Feb. 2008. He is a great guy. I met him in October and over time of getting to know him have really come to like him and care about him. We have seen each other only once a week for most of that time, but in the last 2 months its been reduced to once a month due to work schedule changes and the fact that we live a little over an hour apart. I really like him, though met him in odd circumstances and it involves his friend, who I never dated, but his friend was a FWB of mine for a while, no interest in dating, but this guy I have been spending time with and talking nearly every day I DO have an interest in dating. A few months into it, he said he thought we were dating, so I went with it because I liked him. I still like him, but as things changed (my not having a sitter anymore as my ex-husband decided to disappear from his son’s life AGAIN) and then work schedules and he has always said from the beginning that the distance is an issue. Now 8-1/2 months later its changed from “i thought we were dating” from him to now him saying he doesn’t know what he wants, that the distance is an issue, but he doesn’t know what he is doing with me or what he wants, and he admits to having guilt over the fact that I was his buddy’s FWB, even though I never dated his FWB, while he also admitted a few months ago that if I lived closer he would be over every day if I let him. So, I don’t know what to make of it and i’m sure me being a single parent is an issue as well though he says it is not, he has not met my son and that is my choice until I know we will be a couple, but he admits to not knowing how to deal with kids. He has never been married and has no kids.

IAN – is doing great in school academically, but he has had some behavioral issues of talking and being disruptive, which I figure partially has to do with his father suddenly disappearing this summer again, he has not seen his dad since Father’s day, and his dad has only called him 2 times since then, and then the last time he talked to his dad was 1-1/2 weeks ago on a Monday, his dad told him that he was going to come see him on friday, and he told me the same thing that he was going to see Ian on friday…HE NEVER SHOWED UP. He hasn’t called since. This is how he’s been off and on and now Ian is old enough that it upsets him. He told me “I’m mad at my dad” and I asked why and he said “because he lied to me.” So, its irritating and hurtful to see him acting out because of his loser dad.

EYE CANDY – I just was introduced to some new eye candy in town. I’ve checked out this single dad for a few years, and he’s a really nice guy, but no way he would want to date a girl like me. There are more single women than men in this area, at least less single men who are worth grabbing, who have jobs and are not low-lifes or dead-beats, who are actually responsible and part of their kid’s lives, etc…very few choices here for women in this small town, but the men here have their pick and choose it seems. Well, I was introduced to a new piece of eye candy at a gaming center here in town that just opened. Turns out my step-mom knows him, ha. He used to do computer networking for the small company she works at and that she is friends with him, which I never knew, and so he and I chatted while my kiddo played games at his new gaming center (online video games). He is HOT, and very nice.

Ok, thought I’d share some pics with more to come!

Sunny LOVES strawberries!

First day of school – 2nd grade

go-cart racing – last day of summer spent at the Family Fun Center Grand Prix in South Charleston WV. He had a great time.

Trying something new – I spend way too much money on Ian for little crap that he doesn’t need, so I’ve decided at age 7 he’s old enough to start a chore chart and earning some allowance, this way it curbs my spending on him for little things here and there, and he learns to save up his money when he wants to get something. So far its done pretty well, he will still ask me for stuff here and there, but not as often and usually he says “I can get that in a month!” he’s loving the checking things off the list…

This little thing is one of those sticky things you can get out of the quarter machines at the front of stores, its about 1 inch big, its been on this wall for 3 months and counting, haha…

This is Mr. Turtle, Ian got him in Hawaii from his Hawaii Grandmama, its a sea turtle. He has him in his bed every night to sleep, and now his chore list includes making his bed, and this is what he does with Mr. Turtle every morning.

09/2008 – my dog had to have a procedure, poor guy, he was knocked out with anesthesia and pain meds, was on antibiotics, but now I’m happy to report he has made a complete recovery and is doing great!

09/2008 – tons of motorcycles, its hard to see, but they go WAAAAY back to where the men at the end are standing, there were at least 60+ motorcycles! It was so neat to see, they stopped in our small town for a break. Sorry for the bad pic, its from my cell phone, the one that was STOLEN 2 weeks ago. sigh.
tons of motorcycles

Sunny our puppy, looking out the window like he usually does while waiting in the car-line to pick up kids from school. I swear this is one of Sunny’s favorite parts of the day, he gets so excited when I say “lets go get Ian” haha.
Waiting for Ian

10/2008 – double rainbow driving out of our small town.
double rainbow 09-2008

Kiddo with his new halloween costume! He is a Clone Trooper, not a storm trooper, I have already been educated on this fact. He is “Commander Fox” from the Star Wars clone wars animated movie. He loves it so much he still wears it around and plays clone wars!
Halloween costume 2008

I’ll post more as I have posted a ton already!! catching up since August, so I will soon post more October and starting this month of pics! whew! Enjoy!


August 31, 2008

pics, pics, pics….

Filed under: family,Ian,random — dianabananapancakes @ 11:15 pm

I haven’t posted in a long time, I’m not even sure who if anyone reads this blog anymore…but I will post pics anyway….

Here goes!  there are a ton of them!

Making sushi!  I was craving it so bad, and mom sent me the stuff to make it from Hawaii, so I went at it!

The final product…tons of sushi! lol

4th of July 2008 with the family…
my sister and her boyfriend

Aside from my big chunky belly, I love this pic of Sunny!

We had a memorial for my grandpa, and the neighboring camp had also lost a family member around the same time, so we had a joint memorial for both…

We tossed flower petals that were taken from the funeral flower arrangements,its hard to tell but those are the flower petals in the river…

FINALLY – the pics to my cousin Debra’s wedding to her man Joe! They got married July 12, 2008. It was a fun, beautiful wedding that she put together. She was so beautiful as usual, she’s one of the sweetest people I know….aside from me of course! haha….here’s her wedding pics via my camera –

The men from the wedding party –
the men

My uncle and beautiful cousin

“Kiss the bride” shot

The new Mr. and Mrs.

Cake time.

Oh yes they did!

awwww, they even cleaned each other up! teehee

Little photographer…My cousin’s son, who was 7 at the time of this wedding, is going to be 8 in September, he was so friggin adorable with the camera and all up in the wedding shot taking! I loved it!

First dance as husband and wife

My dad and step-mom dancing

My sis didn’t get much sleep the night before, so she kept falling asleep, hahahahaha, I was so messing with her!

They had karaoke, which actually went over pretty well…even Ian and my cousin’s son went in on it! They had fun doing it, too.

Their photographer, Rachel B., ROCKED! Not to mention she had a wicked cool camera bag! haha, she was very nice and even responded to me online when I had comments to her blog….here’s the pics from her awesome photographer view, she is a great photographer and love her work so much I keep checking her blog for stuff not even related to my cousin. 🙂

Debra and Joe’s engagement shots which ROCKED, they are SO FUN!! I can’t say enough how much I love these pics!! My faves are the one with the blue wall, and the ones laying in the grass.

The wedding shots by Rachel B. Ian even made it into a shot on her blog, teehee….I love the pic she caught of him!

March 20, 2008

Clearing my mind

Filed under: random — dianabananapancakes @ 12:51 am

I’ve just got things on my mind, and feel the need to air things out.

* The puppy is so friggin adorable. His housebreaking is going pretty decently. We got him Sunday night, and today was his first day with NO accidents in the apartment AT ALL. Very proud of the little buggar.

* But, he got into my yarn stash today…grrrr.

* My friend Christine’s baby shower is end of this month and I was supposed to be working on knitting a baby blanket for her baby girl….I started it 4 times, and stopped…oops. I am going to buy something and hope that I can get the blanket done by the time she comes into the world. She was originally told her due date was first week of May, now they say 3 weeks…ha. She said she thought it was sooner than they first said, and turns out she was right.

* My sister is going through drama with her man and even though its none of my business, I am SO FUCKING PISSED at him for what he’s putting her through. She has been through enough in the last 5 years alone, and HE KNOWS ALL OF THIS, and so it makes me even more pissed off because he was her friend to start, and now he is acting like someone she doesn’t even know, and I hurt for her, was in tears for her, and have anger at him for her….I don’t know how she doesn’t keep from rippin the hairs off his damn chin. I pray for her to have the strength to move forward yet again. She is strong in many ways, but she is like me in many ways and has a fragile side, and I know what its like to have to start over, and so does she, and I hope she can get through this one and still keep herself intact. I hope she doesn’t get mad that I put that on here.

* My son is going to his dad’s on Friday to spend the week of Spring Break with him. He was only away from me one other time for more than just a weekend, this past summer for 2 weeks, and at that time it went by SOOOO SLOOOOOW, probably didn’t help that at that time I was also getting over a sadness of an ended relationship…at least right now I’m not in that sort of place, but man I will miss my little man. At least I have the puppy along with my big doggie to keep me company during the day.

* Have you ever liked someone you can’t have? Me too. There’s been only 2 guys I’ve liked since my long-distance relationship ended a year ago. In this year, one guy I liked I got up the nerve and told him, everyone I talked to about how often he talked to thought he was showing signs of interest in me…but it turns out he does not plan to date. He’s going through a drama in his life in the form of a custody battle that has been going on for about 6 years…his son just turned 7. So, he says he is not dating. He says “I know you would treat me right, but its not fair for me to bring you into my life of drama, I couldn’t do that to you and your son” and then the infamous line “some guy will be very lucky to have you”….yeah. tell that to the guys who had me but let me go, although some have come back later to tell me that they miss what we had, or that I’m a good person and they are surprised that I’m not happily married by now blah blah blah….that does me no good when they don’t see it when they are WITH me, lol. I chalk it up to guess it wasn’t meant to be. Well, now there’s another guy I have an interest developing in. Its someone I met about the same time as the first guy I liked, only in very different circumstances that I can’t explain here, lol. I talked to him off and on since I met him 5 months ago, and every time I talk to him and hang out around him I like him more and more…its kinda complicated and basically it boils down to if he were to like me back, it could put a strain on his friendship with the guy who I met him through, again I can’t go into details. But, I can’t help who I like, and this guy I like. He has many qualities I want in someone, and we seem to get along great. I enjoy his company. He makes me feel pretty and interesting. He and I talk and talk about anything and everything, and hell he even eats my cooking, lol. We have some similar interests, to me he’s cute (though apparently guys in that age group don’t care to be considered cute, lol) so let me rephrase, to me he is nice looking. There isn’t anything so far I don’t like about him…except that he’s unobtainable. Sometimes his actions make me feel like he is interested in me as well, and even when I tell my friends what transpired they agree…which would be fantastic…but other times like right now I feel like he is just enjoying the company and conversation of someone new with no intention of more, which is fine as well, except that I like him, lol. He has told me several times he doesn’t believe that no one comes up to me to ask me out and or that no one is interested in dating me, says he wonders why I’m not dating…well, its kinda hard to date when no one is interested in you enough to ask you out. I’ve told him that, plus I’m an overweight girl, and yes I’ve met guys who have actually pointed that out as a negative thing to them…talk about bruising my ego. Also, I’m a single parent, not a lot of guys are looking for that. The last time I saw him it was brought up again that he doesn’t believe that no one asks me out or wants to date me, I told him I can’t believe he doesn’t believe that, and he said he has a hard time believing it, and I asked why…yes, I was totally friggin fishing I won’t lie….and he said that I have a unique look and it stands out, that I’m nice and pretty (yes, a girl remembers those words), and laid back and very friendly…and then I interrupted him with “geez, then why don’t YOU date me?” and I had a nervous laugh afterwards, because I have thought that to myself, its not the first time he’s given me these reasons why someone should want to date me…but HE has never asked to date me…but my nervous laugh was followed by a laugh from him {{sigh}} I should’ve kept my mouth shut. He mumbled something that wasn’t completely clear only a part of it, but I won’t even bring it up because now I think I must’ve misheard him completely. I hate liking someone I can’t have. Its not the first time that’s happened to me, and I’m pretty sure it won’t be the last. But, I hope I haven’t scared him off so as to not be able to spend time with him again. I truly enjoy his company and if all else, at least I hope I can enjoy that for a while longer. I enjoy talking to him and hanging out with him, I feel very comfortable with him and truly can say that I look forward to hearing from him and spending time around him. Unfortunately I haven’t heard from him in a while, lol, but I can’t do anything about that.

* It has rained for 2 days….gah! I’m tired of rain and gray skies and cold wind and brown trees. I’m anxious for spring to show itself for more than just a day.

* My laptop has been in “the shop” 4 weeks this coming Saturday…I took it in on Feb. 23rd, they said 2-3 weeks. All they had to do was replace the hard disk, last time they replaced it, it took them less than 2 weeks and I had to wait a few days before I could get there because that place is 2 hours from where I live. gah, I hope to get my laptop back soon!

* My grandpa’s health has been holding the same as of an e-mail from my cousin a few days back and no news since then, so we’re assuming no news is good news.

* My mom called today and sent Ian an Easter gift, and me some goodies to make SUSHI! I’ve been craving sushi since we got back from Hawaii, sooooo anxious to get the package!

That’s all that is on my brain for now….its now on E haha.

September 12, 2007

gutter balls

Filed under: random,videos — dianabananapancakes @ 12:25 pm

You know I’m sooooo mature. I still laugh when certain words are used and my mind goes in the gutter.

First a flash-back came to mind, Ian was about 2-1/2 years old and learning to talk better, he could talk in full sentences, but sometimes his pronunciation was, well, off, which makes for GREAT comic relief! He and I take walks often around town, and he likes to pick things up like colored leaves or “cool” rocks or of course coins he finds, etc. One day we’re walking and he runs to this tree in the River Front Park near where a family was having a lunch, and he grabs this HUGE branch and raises it over his head and yells back at me at the top of his lungs “Mom, look at this enormous dick I found!” That whole table started cracking up, and so did I, haha.

Another flashback came when Ian was eating hot seasoned potato chips here recently, my dad and I like some spicy food, Ian doesn’t like it all, but he’s coming around. So, he was eating some of these spicy chips and had to have a drink of milk to cool his mouth. He later said to me “mom, I want to eat more of those hot chicks.” WHA???? hahahahahaha….see, my mind is always in the gutter. Someone can say something innocent and I crack up because of how it sounds.

I still laugh when someone says Uranus. Yeah, I’m so mature, hehe.

For example: This morning, work was nonexistent, so I went to eat some breakfast and watch a little TV before checking back in. I tend to watch decorating or home improvement or crafting shows, TLC and Discovery and History channels as well. Today it was another channel I haven’t seen much of because I don’t watch much TV. But, that’s not the point. A commercial came on about pool tables and pool table “accessories”….and he said “the best part of pool is the balls.” and proceeded to talk about how “Belgium makes the best balls.”

I’m still snorting over that one.

Oh yeah, and then there’s this show, which I watch once in a great while when its on and I have free time for TV….haha. Remember being a kid and making up your own words and dialogue to movies or TV shows, turning down the volume and….ok, so it was just me and my friends…leave me alone! 🙂

reminds me of that overstock.com commercial from last year where they sing to the “jingle bells” tune… “O…O…O, the great big O”…that CRACKED me up…every friggin time I heard it.

Because I’m so mature.

Off to work….keep your mind in the gutter… a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. ;P

April 17, 2007

busy busy busy

Filed under: family,Ian,random — dianabananapancakes @ 1:04 pm

This weekend and yesterday have been BUSY! Whew!

Saturday was planned as an errand day. I had to go to the city to go shopping for supplies for Ian’s b-day party (invites, party favors, plates for the theme, etc). He FINALLY picked a theme by the way of Superman, lol. Anyway, so we were supposed to get that, I had to buy Ian’s birthday present because I wouldn’t have time during the week with the 2 jobs and the sports (2 games and 3 practices by Saturday)…plus my step-mom’s b-day was going to be on Monday (16th) so I had to get her something, plus I had to get snacks for Ian’s soccer team as every game one parent has to bring snacks, and it was my turn for the game on Monday (16th)….so I had a lot of shopping to do. So, I packed Ian up in the car and we stopped to get some “road trip” food and fill up gas and…..my car dies. I couldn’t even leave town. To top it off…it was raining. I called my step-mom to see if I could borrow her car, but she had to go to the other city to get her driver’s license renewed. I called my dad, but he had just taken his truck in to get the tail lights fixed. So, I called my only 2 friends who live in town….and one had his daughter for that weekend and he had to work later that day, and the other she had plans to leave town that evening and get her son’s hair cut….so, I finally gave up and went home.

My dad offered to take us on Sunday instead. So, Sunday we went. I’m glad dad offered to take us. He distracted Ian while I bought Ian’s birthday present. My dad also had to get something for the step-mom. So, anyway, we ended up spending 6 hours shopping on Sunday then stopped to eat and came home. Ugh! During shopping and dinner with dad, though, we talked about Hawaii, me, dad and Ian, and about the fun stuff we want to do, the things we should/could take Ian to, the things I did as a kid when dad was in the Marines and stationed in Hawaii, so it was great and I’m sooooo excited about Hawaii. At one store dad found these books “Hawii for Dummies” and bought one for him, for my uncle, for me and for an aunt who’s family is going, too, hehe. He said “this is your homework before we go to Hawaii” haha. It was great hanging with dad, just the 3 of us. Its been a while since we’ve done that.

I finally was getting ready to go to bed and I tried to call James…voicemail. Maybe 10 minutes later James called me back. We talked a good while, it was late and when I finally conceeded that I had to get to sleep, it was after 1 am, and I had to get up for work around 4:45 am, so he said he’d call me tomorrow if he could (Monday) and then we hung up and I finally fell asleep. whew. Long day.

Monday was a long, full day, too. I of course got up to work, took Ian to school, finished working, had to wrap step-mom’s birthday gifts from us and from my dad, got the snack bags ready for the kids on the soccer team, got Ian’s uniform ready, picked him up from school, I worked a tiny bit after that until time to get Ian ready for the game, took Ian to his game (rode with my parents), from the game took off to dinner for my step-mom’s birthday at a small Mexican place in town, from there went to dad’s house to open gifts and have cake, then from there came home in time to give Ian a bath, get him into bed and I worked till 10:30 pm. I was EXHAUSTED and went to bed, and James called when he got off work at 8 pm, which if you remember there is a 3 hour time difference, was 11 pm my time, lol. He apologized for keeping me up late the night before and said he’d keep tonight’s call short. He and I chatted a short bit…then he told me something that surprised me. He said that he wanted me to know that he appreciates me. I’ve been hanging in there when he’s been going through all this stuff and as he told me that he mentioned to his friend’s girlfriend..he has not been a very good boyfriend, and that he just wanted me to know that he does appreciate me. That was a good way to end the conversation on Monday.

Now I’m exhausted still. I sent Ian off to school and about an hour ago they called and said he was pretty much SCREAMING in class that his stomach hurt and he was crying, and that’s not Ian behavior. He was saying his stomach was hurting and he was very much in pain they said, so they wanted me to come pick him up. So, he’s now laying down in the living room, he’s saying he’s hungry but I’m not sure what to feed him, so I just gave him some toast and water to drink and he seems fine with that. He is not running around and goofing off, so I know he really doesn’t feel good. See, yet another reason why I think this at-home job has been worth the bit of struggle, I can still work (when I’m not BLOGGING, haha) even if Ian has to stay home. 🙂

Anyway, blah blah blah, that was long, but that’s what has happened since I last blogged on Friday.

Here are some pics and videos from Ian’s first soccer game of the season. They are the team in yellow, and Ian is number 5.

First a video of Ian, he is the one kicking when the video starts….

GRR irritated with youtube, the last I don’t know, 10 videos I’ve uploaded start out with the sound matching the video, but as the video continues, it doesn’t match up! ugh! So, anyway, enjoy the silliness anyway. bah!

Grannie’s gift from Ian and myself, he is right beside me right now and DEMANDING that I post a pic of it, lol, so here it is. It looks like just a dual photo frame, but you open the pics and inside there is a “message center” with cork boards and magnet/dry erase board. My step-mom hates clutter, so she likes things like this, functional and nice to look at. Those are Ian’s recent soccer team pics (well, from last season, they play 2 times a year) and his kindergarten school pics (first school pics, lol).
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

April 11, 2007

WCW and catching up

Filed under: dubya wednesday,random,WCW,Wild Card Wednesday — dianabananapancakes @ 12:59 pm

Wild Card Wednesday, as hosted by The Kept Woman on my sidebar….

This week’s Wild Card Wednesday is a stretch, but I’m gonna go for it…the 5 W’s we learned in school about story telling…all in 1 shot…I’ll explain below the picture…hehe…

This photo is from Ian’s T-ball practice yesterday. The coach was showing the kids how to throw the ball properly, and so here we go with the 5 W’s:

WHO is Ian listening to? Not the coach!
“WHAT is she doing?” That’s probably the question on that girl Molly’s mind. I know her name is Molly, her name tag says so.
WHEN did Ian lose interest in the coach? About 2 seconds into this demonstration.
WHERE was Ian’s attention? On the kids who were having more fun rolling down the side of the hill next to the ball field, I’m pretty sure he would’ve much rather been doing that.
WHY was he not paying attention? Well, I asked him, and he said “because I already know all this stuff, remember I played already.” Oh, so sorry Sir! lol.

Ok, I know, I know, that was TOTALLY a stretch, but I had to try, lol.

So, yeah, Ian’s first T-ball practice was today, he was excited. He had soccer on Monday, but we didn’t go because he’s fighting the sniffles and it was 33 degrees and windy, I don’t think so. He has soccer again tomorrow, and T-ball on Friday…fun fun fun.

Easter was OK. It started off great, Ian and I did the easter egg hunt thing, we relaxedand had a nice afternoon. Dad called and asked if we wanted to see that Meet the Robinsons. He said he called the movie place and it didn’t say it was closed, just had the times for the movies, which one was at 2 pm on Sunday, so we went…and they were CLOSED. It was not too bad of a drive for us, but still 20 minutes out of town for a closed place. The time on the window said 7 pm for the movie, but the time in the newspaper and on the answering machine said 2 pm. Nice, right? So, we ended up going to stupid Wal-Mart so we didn’t have a completely wasted trip (at least, to my step-mom, ugh, I hate walking around a store when I have no need to be in there), so that wasted a good hour or so. Then we headed to dad’s place. My uncle and his wife showed up, they were driving back to Ohio from visiting my grandpa, and thought they’d say hey, we just got home, so we hung out with them. Then decided to find a place open for dinner and went to eat. On the way is when things started getting blah…my step-mom started an argument, as usual, about stupid stuff, then again in front of everyone she decided to bug about Ian’s behavior at school, apparently “someone” told her that Ian is being “really bad” at school. I have not yet received a note from the teacher as to what this behavior could have been, but according to my step-mom I should’ve gotten plenty of notes by now…nope, and she was all “really?” like she didn’t believe me. They have a color code system to let you know your child’s behavior, and he wasn’t the best in the last 2-1/2 weeks, but I also never got a note home. She said “That’s not what I heard” when Ian told her it was for talking, which the kid does talk a lot. I said “well, what did you hear and who did you hear it from?” and she said “its a small town, people talk” and I said “well, what is it?” and she said “I’m not gonna say”….wtf????? So, if its something that the teacher hasn’t bothered to write a note about, but its bad enough that other people who I don’t know are talking about it to the step-mom…why would she NOT want to tell me so I could do something about the behavior? That’s how she is. SHe has gotten bitter and mean as she got older. She still does a lot of stuff, but man she has turned into one of those people that have nothing better to do than become a busy-body and talk about other people in town. Bah, so the fact she did this in front of EVERYONE pissed me off…and then we get home and all that, see, I don’t let her know that she pissed me off. I refuse to give her the satisfaction, so I just stewed in my head and instead talked to everyone but her that evening. So, got home, it was too late to go back to work like I told her I had to do. (Oh yeah, did I mention she then guilt-tripped me into going to dinner in front of the uncle/aunt, KNOWING that I had to go to work that evening?). So, I get home, its already freaking 9:30, so I was frustrated, put Ian to bed, I took a nice HOT shower to relax and went to bed. I also hadn’t heard from James who promised to call, but I figured with the Holiday and all, he was probably bummed because he wasn’t with his kids. Anyway, so I woke up Monday morning to a sad e-mail about someone I knew from high school and college who died after battling lymphatic cancer. I didn’t even know he was sick. He was 43. It was such a shock…this person was always so happy, giving, worked hard, was encouraging and just a nice and fun person to be around, lots of laughs and always willing to lend a hand. It was so sad to hear, and a shock.

So, needless to say, my easter and Monday were not great ones. I eventually got to talk to James in the afternoon and had a huge misunderstanding on my part, my emotions are on HIGH LEVEL – RED ALERT from the past couple of days. James and I talked yesterday afternoon some and cleared up that misunderstanding, and well, for now I’m ok in that department, not gonna let step-mom’s drama get to me, but I am going to leave a note for the teacher to please let me know about Ian’s behavior as there are apparently volunteers going to my step-mom and telling her things about Ian, and I think I need to be informed if his behavior is bad enough that people are going to her about it, but the last time he had really bad behavior, she did send a note, so I’m pretty sure its just stupid small-ass town gossip (one thing I will NEVER get used to here!!!) and I’m still in shock about Greg’s passing….I am going to see if Ican’t find my pics with him in them and post…just for paying respects and all. Now, mind you, we werne’t CLOSE or anything, but he was just a good, nice, hard-working, respectful and fun person ,and all my memories with him in them are full of smiles and encouragement and he was always fun to talk to. He never married, never had kids…and its just such a shock since I never knew he was sick in the first place.

Anyway, aside from that, things are starting to look up again. I’m not sure what will happen with James….I’m still in this long distance relationship, still hanging on and hoping that he will, too. He has made efforts to talk to me more often and its made me happier than he knows, so I just hope that we can do this and make it till we can see each other again. The hardest part is not knowing when that will be…with the stuff he’s going through, he can’t say for sure when that will be, so for now I’ll just hang in there and hope that all this waiting will be worth it for me. For now I’m just going to try to enjoy the ride and not put too much pressure on anything more, and just hope it comes out great in the end. I’m a romantic, damn it….I can still hope.

Blah blah blah, right? hahaha

April 7, 2007

Holy Wacky Weather Batman!!!

Filed under: Ian,random,SPF — dianabananapancakes @ 3:16 am

OK, this is the closest I could come to this weeks’ SPF theme of HOLY, haha.

Stuff Portrait Friday – see Kristine at Random and Odd on my sidebar.

This was the weather just 3 days ago, about 4 pm. After I picked Ian up from school, Ian took a bike ride while I took a walk…notice he’s in a tank top and shorts….it was a beautiful day, sunny, light breeze, but warm enough that he wore the tank and shorts and it got hotter after his ride of course, so we stopped at McD’s for some McFlurry’s….

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Here’s some video of Ian riding his bike:

OK, so the photobucket version takes FOR-E-VER to load, yet the youtube version it messed up the sound on the video, its a little behind….grrr….

And just 3 days later it looks like this….now, mind you, it snowed a couple of times since then, but today was warmer about 45 for part of the day. The last time I looked outside it was not snowing at all. I took this picture about 9:30 pm when I went to check on the dog because he was whining…so I went and grabbed my camera for this WACKY WEATHER!!

The view from my apartment’s front door…
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The view of my front door of my apartment, lol….
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On to some other things…

James (my boyfriend) got Ian a PS2 game – Lego Star Wars…he LOVES this game. Today I was wanting to watch a little TV and so he played out Star Wars instead. He told me as he was holding his arm at this funny angle “mom, I’m the guy who gets his arm cut off, and this is what I look like in pain…” Thankfully, I had the camera near by…
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and this is what just CRACKED ME UP…. he said “and this is my hand that was cut off with the light sabre in it.”

the toy is a toy from one of the fast food kids meal, its a hand that if you push on the red button on the bottom, he does like this waving or “come here” motion, lol…it had me ROLLING….what an imagination…
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James and I didn’t talk for 10 days….10 days….apparently he’s been going through some “stuff” and he wasn’t in the mood to talk. So, I finally got tired of trying and wrote an e-mail letting him know that I wasn’t happy and that I would never have done this to him, mind you, I didn’t know WHY he wasn’t returning my calls. Well, he called me Monday, and we had a long 2 hour talk, got a lot of stuff out, talked some more on Tuesday with getting some more out, and Wednesday we had a good conversation, no more tears, no more either of us being upset, we got it all out and we were laughing again and joking around and he promised if he ever is in one of those moods he will give me a heads up so that I won’t be left hurting like I was. He felt terrible about hurting me, and on Thursday he called me about 4 times, Wednesday he called me twice…he said he is trying to earn back his merit points with me. So, at least we are back to talking more often and he’s making an effort. I hope it continues, I really do want to see where this can go, and now he knows how that affects me, and we’ll just take it a step at a time and see where it goes. I’m still hopeful that things will work out….we’ll see.

Aside from the weather being wacky, everything else that was stressing me out in the last 2 weeks is starting to look up. Financialy my work load is getting better again, my car is starting to act a bit better, but I’ll have the money to fix it now, I’m starting to get into a bit of a routine and I go a calendar and wrote EVERYTHING in it so I hopefully won’t forget anything anymore, including practice times, etc, and now I’m back on great terms with my boyfriend….so this past week has slowly become good and I’ve been feeling much better. Oh yeah, that evil woman curse is also going away, so I’m sure that helps with my mood, too, haha.

I hope everyone has a safe holiday. Ian’s spring break is this coming week, and he still has practices for soccer, and his first T-ball practice is Tuesday. Tomorrow (Saturday) there are 2 easter egg hunts, so we’ll see what we do with the weather and all, lol.

I’m in such a better mood today and yesterday than I’ve been for the past 2 weeks…things are slowly starting to look up again. Whew! 🙂 Happy Easter, be safe and God Bless!!

March 16, 2007

SPF 03-16-07 and other things.

Filed under: random,SPF — dianabananapancakes @ 10:20 am

Its Stuff Portrait Friday time! Go see Kristine at Random and Odd for the details….

This week’s SPF is “Letters”

I love letters, words, reading…the whole works. I haven’t read a book in a long time, and my collection of books is, well, nonexistent. So, I won’t bother to photograph them.

I also love word art, especially for decoration in the home. I also don’t have more than 1 item for that. I want to do that when I own my home…someday…for now this is the only word art I have, Japanese Kanji for Love….which is also what my mom was going to name me had my dad agreed to a Japanese middle name, Ai (pronounced Ahhh-eeee) and my sister’s middle name was going to be Dream, which is Yume (pronounced you-meh, NOT you-MEEE). So, instead my mother has collected items for us kiddos over the years with the symbols on it instead and always tells us the story.

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This is from Ian…he has been asking how to spell words since he was almost 4 years old, “Mom, how do you spell clock” “Mom, how do you spell mom” “mom, how do you spell silly”…..on and on. This priceless piece of art came home with a note attached to it, that Ian one day during art time asked his teacher to spell out “I love mom” and he wrote it himself. He was 4. 🙂 Its been hanging up there since 10/2005, I cant bear to take it down yet.

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I also photographed my…..letters of course.

I have this box that I keep letters in. Originially it was a shoe box, then another box I had that had a tie on it, but that became too small about 6 or 7 years ago, so I found this plain box and thought it was perfect. This box houses some other memorabilia, but it also houses my letters. In this box is my past, notes from high school (the ones that I managed to hang on to), old boyfriends, ex-fiance, letters from my parents, my sisters, my high school graduation, cards, postcards, drawings from family/friends….all kinds of nostalgic memorabilia. I have only had a few additions in recent years…one of which is my Valentine’s day card (the red envie) from my boyfriend in my long distance relationship with the only love note I’ve ever received from someone…yes, you read right, the ONLY one, at age 33 I got myfirst love note, hehe. I still read it from time to time when I’m missing my sweetie, which is more often now that we haven’t been able to connect as often recently with different schedules and such. So, this box has been opened a lot here recently where I’ve been re-reading the love note from my sweetie….

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Speaking of my sweetie…yes, its been hard. The things that made this long distance relationship easier to bear have been GONE in the last 4 weeks….IMs, webcams, e-mails and the time to chat every night and every weekend….all that has been gone. At this point, I’m lucky if we can talk for 30 minutes 2 or 3 times a week. Its been harder to deal with without the webcam, IM and time to talk. He has been so busy he rarely even checks his e-mail. Last time we talked, though (Monday), he and I were able to talk for 1-1/2 hrs, and we reconnected. We talked about how we are still planning to see each other this summer, that hasn’t changed, just a matter of when with us both starting new jobs within a week of each other. He says he wishes I was there closer, that it would be so much easier for us because we wouldn’t have to worry about time differences (3 hrs) or schedules so much and we could talk together in person. So, its good to know he still misses me and still wants to try this. He said that he is surprised I haven’t given up on him yet and that he worries when we are able to talk that I’ll be upset or mad, and he said that I haven’t been, that I’ve been patient and understanding, and that I’m an angel. Ha…I admit, there are times when I just want to give up, but other times I want to keep trying, that this is just a small rough patch that if we can work through and make it till summer, then it will make us a stronger relationship when we get to see each other again. So, still hopeful that good things can happen here. He told me he appreciates that I’m hanging in there and that he does miss me and I do cross his mind often, so it really was good to hear that he is feeling the same way I am and still wanting to try this.

There is talk of me moving to California. We’ve talked about it before, its something I happened to have wanted to do for a couple of years, those who have read this blog for a while know that I’ve missed it and that I’ve not been truly happy in this small town, but while it has grown on me over the last few years, and I stayed for personal reasons, now I’ve been thinking of moving back. Not just for him, but for me, for my sister….we’ll see if it goes there…it won’t be right now, but possibly within the next 6 months…possibly. I miss my sister terribly and haven’t seen her in almost 3 years. It would also make being in this relationship a bit easier, be able to really get to know each other on a different level. So, its something I have been thinking of a lot lately. There are pros and cons to staying, and pros and cons to moving….so of course, I just have to figure what is best for Ian and myself.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a great weekend! Anyone else played SPF??

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